Saturday, August 21, 2010

Been Here Before

I've been here before and it was to hard to handle then.
So why am I gonna let myself travel down that ol' road again?
I've been here before and I didn't like the outcome
So why is it I can't just turn around and go home?
I've been here before, I've done these things, 
I know the hurt and sorrow that this only and always brings.
I've been here before...
I've been here before...
I've been here and went there
I've done this and done that......
I'm still gonna try, can't give up now
I can't just stop, I don't even know how
Heart break, heartache, sorrow and pain.
I've cried dry tears and hid them in the rain.
I must choose, I must decide
How long can I stay on this ride?
Can't call it love, nor lust or desire
But, there's a burning deep inside; an uncontrollable fire.
It's threatening to consume me
To melt my heart totally and completely,
To take my soul and rip it to shreds.
Causing me to look on each new day with dread.
I've been here before it wasn't fun the first time
I've been here before; to have to do it again should be a crime
I've been here before and have vowed to never come again
I've been here before and vowed to never let another soul in.
I've been here before...
I've been here before...
I've been here before...
And then, like the last time, I opened the door
Sensibility walked out, pain walked in
I've been here before...and this is not the end.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Just Be Me

Just Be Me
I don't have the supermodel size,
but there's love and understanding in my eyes.
I don't have the dancer's shapely hips,
but there's gentleness in my fingertips.
My legs may not go on and on forever, 
but you can tell in my stance, I'm well put together.
You may look at me and wonder with everything going on how I can still smile...
joy and peace are within me for trial after trial.
I know I still have far to go
and the road is tough, don't you know.
But, even with all my imperfections, I'm still very proud.
I don't have to walk with my head hanging down
nor does my face ever hint of a frown.
To use Maya's words, I'm a woman phenomenally.
Happiness reigns abound, deep inside me.
I'm smart, funny, sensual and full of wit.
I'm strong and patient, but I won't take any s**t.
I'm loving, caring and honest as all get out.
I'm a big, beautiful, black woman, and I know what I'm about.
So, pass me by if you don't like what you see,
but that won't stop me from being me.
Dismiss me because my image doesn't appeal to you,
but you'll miss all the wonderful things I plan to do.
Or, you could stop and engage me in conversation
and together we can embark on a whole new revelation.
I may not be your idea of perfect, maybe, 
but I'm just perfect enough for me.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Never Forgotten

Never Forgotten
Playing in the rain on a hot summer day
Running from dogs, cats, friends at play
A favorite teacher in elementary school
Trying to find ways to break a few house rules
Learning how to ride a bike with no hands
First time doing a handstand
Lies told to get out of trouble
Finding out the meaning to "hot foot it" and "on the double"
First time testing the limit to mom's patience
First time actually hearing from your conscience
Very first best friend in the whole wide world ever
Learning that "Never" doesn't always mean never
Making that first enemy
Then learning that that was only temporary
First boy/girlfriend, first ex
First breakup, first Mr./Ms. Next
Fully knowing right from wrong
Learning that first favorite song
First kiss, first hug, first time
I remember them all, every one of mine
First pain, first sorrow
First joy, first hope for tomorrow
Memories are made forever and always
To remind us of past times and how things were
We may put them away
Try to refuse them light of day
But no matter how tight our memories are kept locked in
There are always those FIRSTS that will never be forgotten
(c)La-Shanta Holloway