Been Here Before

I've been here before and it was to hard to handle then.

So why am I gonna let myself travel down that ol' road again?

I've been here before and I didn't like the outcome

So why is it I can't just turn around and go home?

I've been here before, I've done these things, 

I know the hurt and sorrow that this only and always brings.

I've been here before...

I've been here before...

I've been here and went there

I've done this and done that......

I'm still gonna try, can't give up now

I can't just stop, I don't even know how

Heart break, heartache, sorrow and pain.

I've cried dry tears and hid them in the rain.

I must choose, I must decide

How long can I stay on this ride?

Can't call it love, nor lust or desire

But, there's a burning deep inside; an uncontrollable fire.

It's threatening to consume me

To melt my heart totally and completely,

To take my soul and rip it to shreds.

Causing me to look on each new day with dread.

I've been here before it wasn't fun the first time

I've been here before; to have to do it again should be a crime

I've been here before and have vowed to never come again

I've been here before and vowed to never let another soul in.

I've been here before...

I've been here before...

I've been here before...

And then, like the last time, I opened the door

Sensibility walked out, pain walked in

I've been here before...and this is not the end.

Just Be Me

Just Be Me

I don't have the supermodel size,

but there's love and understanding in my eyes.

I don't have the dancer's shapely hips,

but there's gentleness in my fingertips.

My legs may not go on and on forever, 

but you can tell in my stance, I'm well put together.

You may look at me and wonder with everything going on how I can still smile...

joy and peace are within me for trial after trial.

I know I still have far to go

and the road is tough, don't you know.

But, even with all my imperfections, I'm still very proud.

I don't have to walk with my head hanging down

nor does my face ever hint of a frown.

To use Maya's words, I'm a woman phenomenally.

Happiness reigns abound, deep inside me.

I'm smart, funny, sensual and full of wit.

I'm strong and patient, but I won't take any s**t.

I'm loving, caring and honest as all get out.

I'm a big, beautiful, black woman, and I know what I'm about.

So, pass me by if you don't like what you see,

but that won't stop me from being me.

Dismiss me because my image doesn't appeal to you,

but you'll miss all the wonderful things I plan to do.

Or, you could stop and engage me in conversation

and together we can embark on a whole new revelation.

I may not be your idea of perfect, maybe, 

but I'm just perfect enough for me.

Never Forgotten

Never Forgotten

Playing in the rain on a hot summer day

Running from dogs, cats, friends at play

A favorite teacher in elementary school

Trying to find ways to break a few house rules

Learning how to ride a bike with no hands

First time doing a handstand

Lies told to get out of trouble

Finding out the meaning to "hot foot it" and "on the double"

First time testing the limit to mom's patience

First time actually hearing from your conscience

Very first best friend in the whole wide world ever

Learning that "Never" doesn't always mean never

Making that first enemy

Then learning that that was only temporary

First boy/girlfriend, first ex

First breakup, first Mr./Ms. Next

Fully knowing right from wrong

Learning that first favorite song

First kiss, first hug, first time

I remember them all, every one of mine

First pain, first sorrow

First joy, first hope for tomorrow

Memories are made forever and always

To remind us of past times and how things were

We may put them away

Try to refuse them light of day

But no matter how tight our memories are kept locked in

There are always those FIRSTS that will never be forgotten

(c)La-Shanta Holloway